Meeting Turns to Crap by Don Matthews

Image Source: Snappa
(true story in my hometown Adelaide)

The staffers were all gathered

Round each other, seating

When suddenly they heard above

A sound, a sudden creaking

Very soon they all began

To look up, and start mumbling

When the creaking sound above them

Turned to quite loud rumbling

Suddenly the ceiling

Above them gave away

And out from pipe above them

A not-nice thing did spray

As reader of my paper

When I read of this thing

My eyes popped in amazement

What this burst pipe did bring

The staffers they were more surprised

Than me at what came out

A flood of faecal matter

Some said “Shit!” (some shout)

It seems the plumb contractor

Did bang on the wrong pipe

Which split this faecal carrier

(All full, and over-ripe)

The staffers fled in terror

(Would you not do the same?)

Running for escape hatch

(Through door in which they came)

Staffers had to shower

Bin their sandwich lunch

Not a nice experience

Not a happy bunch

Management provided free hot showers and bubble baths, fresh laundered clothes, and sandwiches of prawns and other delicacies. The contractor was sacked and was heard to mumble as he departed “Why can’t they paint it brown and write on it in big letters SHIT PIPE?”……

-DON MATTHEWS

Don is an Australian writer who focuses on humour.  He runs the ‘Flippant, Comic, and Serious’ website.

Don Matthews Author picture
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4 Comments Add yours

  1. Terveen Gill says:

    Don’s humorous depiction of a real life incident or should I say ‘accident’ takes the reader for a dirty and stinky ride. Imagine being all prim and proper for a meeting and then have crap upon you leaking. The appropriate word might be EWWWW! Hope these folks can forget the horrifying picture. But the smell may still reside.
    Congratulations Don!

    Like

  2. Shit, I’m glad I wasn’t at that meeting……

    Liked by 1 person

  3. elcieloyelinfierno says:

    What a disgusting story about defecation; but the employees would have learned something. When the noise comes from above; you have to run away. A cordial greeting.

    Liked by 2 people

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