Was the Night Before Christmas by Don Matthews

An old man dressed as Santa Claus and gripping his spectacles with a shocked expression
Image Source: Snappa

Was the night before Christmas

When I got his text

That Santa would visit me

‘Round planet (convexed)

No longer he’s guided

By stars (lots of guess)

Tech reps have caught up with him

Now has GPS

(meter changes)

I’m waiting here for Santa

It’s three o’clock in morn

(I’m yawning now but never mind)

He said he’d come by dawn

Then just before I nodded off

He came through door (not chim)

Looking quite bedraggled

Had lost his phone (with SIM)

I added two and two together

Yes, came up with four

Linda’s house across the street

Had lights on, open door

Santa makes a special trip all the way each Christmas to see me.

I must mean something special to him…..


Don is an Australian writer who focuses on humour.  He runs the ‘Flippant, Comic, and Serious’ website.

Don Matthews Author picture
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12 Comments Add yours

  1. Terveen Gill says:

    Don’s cheerful and downright hilarious Christmas poem makes me want to shed my winter blues and laugh out loud. I think the tables have turned on who’s being naughty or nice. Haha! Santa doesn’t need to explain anything to us. I wouldn’t want my gifts being cancelled. A great piece of writing. Much needed in these times.
    Congratulations Don!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Terveen. Yes we need to lighten up. We’re all too sane and serious….

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Powerful imagination. “He came through door (not chim)
    Looking quite bedraggled
    Had lost his phone (with SIM)” 🤣🤣👏 That satire is humorous

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Lamittan. I can’t seem to write serious these days. We all need to lighten up….

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Amazing! Yeah, it’s important that we lighten up a bit these way, for the sake of our audience. I agree 💯👍Have a great.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Good ole Santa – always a welcome every Christmas. Love the poem.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. jonicaggiano says:

    This is truly hilarious! I loved believing in Santa. I suppose kids just look it up on their computers in school and find out there is no such thing today. Great piece!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. jonicaggiano says:

        My pleasure, have an amazing week!


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