Don’t Think Like a Human by Bogdan Dragos

A porcelain piggy standing on currency and wrapped in currency notes
Image Source: Snappa

it was a sad

sight

lately

and the sounds coming

from it were even

sadder

Such was the house

of humans

Full of shouts

and objects banging and

breaking against the walls,

curses against gods,

against parents,

death threats,

agony

and grief

and pure rage

destruction

But not being humans

the two of them

watched from outside,

from their enclosure

outside their pen

“It’s the destiny of

all humans,” she told

him

“To fight each other

to death?” he asked

She nodded

her big, fleshy head,

making her ears flap. “That’s

right. The curse of

those humans is that

they’re trying

too hard

to place a male and

a female in the same space,

have them share the

same life

and actually expect it to

work out. How foolish.”

“Is there really

no way

it can work out?” he asked

“Ah, you’re so young. Barely

more than a piglet,

aren’t you? Look, when it

does work out

between humans… it’s

an exception. Never the rule.

Their curse started with

having fingers

that can grab things

and extended to

having minds that can

grasp concepts

other than food, sleep,

and sex.

To be able to think higher

is a curse, not a blessing. Maybe

they’ll figure it out one day.

Until then,

let us enjoy our lives. Let’s

celebrate, darling. If the humans

are too busy killing themselves

they won’t be slaughtering us

and they’ll soon be our

food

instead of us being theirs. Happy

day! Oh, I am

excited. C’mon, mount me,

darling, let’s celebrate.”

“Mount you?” he said. “But…

aren’t we related?”

“Oh, come now, don’t think

like a human.”

He mounted her

and the

screams coming from inside

the house of humans

accompanied them

like music

It all ended

with a bang

-BOGDAN DRAGOS

Bogdan Dragos supervises casinos for a gambling company, working twelve-hour shifts locked in a dark office full of TV monitors. There he mostly daydreams and writes poems and stories. He also manages a poetry blog Daydreaming as a profession.

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19 Comments Add yours

  1. Terveen Gill says:

    Bogdan never ceases to amaze with his writing. We humans take each other for granted, but beware, the pigs and probably other animals are watching. There may be a day when the tables will turn and we’ll be living the reality of – Planet of the Apes or Pigs. I loved that movie.
    Congratulations Bogdan!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you! (ˆ(oo)ˆ)

      Indeed, movies about animals (and artificial intelligence) taking over the world have a certain charm to them. I love watching those :))

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Jeffrey X says:

        I thought this was wildly clever. I laughed wickedly to myself.

        Liked by 2 people

        1. Thanks! ´・ᴗ・ `

          Liked by 1 person

  2. johnlmalone says:

    Brilliant !!! I absolutely loved this. Terveen put me onto it; very, very clever 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. ༼ つ◕(oo)◕༽つ Big thanks, John!

      Liked by 2 people

    2. Terveen Gill says:

      Thanks for the visit, John. I appreciate it. 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

      1. johnlmalone says:

        it’s good we stay in dialogue, Terveen: possibilities open up, like Bogdan’s story … exciting times: will see if I can write something for the website: it has a buzz to it —

        Liked by 2 people

        1. Terveen Gill says:

          Thanks a lot, John. I look forward to it. ‘Possibilities’ is a wonderful word.

          Liked by 1 person

  3. Good heavens……..oink oink

    Humans will never figure it out ’cause greed rules the world…..

    Liked by 3 people

    1. ( ఠ ൠ ఠ ) ~Oink~Oink~ ( ̄(●●) ̄)

      Liked by 2 people

      1. mister and miss piggy. Well done….

        Liked by 3 people

  4. spwilcen says:

    Complete with the Bogdan twist!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I love twists (๑✧∀✧ ๑)

      Liked by 2 people

      1. spwilcen says:

        Twists: good with lemon and good with honey. You re a master of both blends.

        Liked by 1 person

  5. jonicaggiano says:

    Wow, Dragos! This is a fascinating piece indeed. I love hearing narration from animals’ perspectives as they can love us unconditionally, and they can be kinder than many humans. This piece makes some excellent points. Divorce rates have been up since Covid, and many researchers believe it is because couples think how wonderful it would be to have more time together. Careful about what you wish for as the result may not be what you expect. I love the way you ended it using your great sense of humor. This is my favorite!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. ༼ つ◕(oo)◕༽つ Thank you!

      I guess animals know more about us than we’d like to admit :))

      Liked by 3 people

      1. jonicaggiano says:

        Absolutely, great post!!

        Liked by 1 person

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