I’m Not Drunk by Bharath Upendra

The jigsaw puzzle of the side profile of a man's face and two pieces of the puzzle are missing and one piece is not fitting
Image Source: Canva

I flushed my emotions down the drain, banging the door shut behind me. No matter how bright the day gets, I only sense darkness around. Morning is just another night with extra, sometimes unneeded light. Looking at the stains on the wall, I try to count my blessings. Not in vain, though. The gift of life I’ve been bestowed without even asking feels like a tight fitting underwear choking my groin. I got that, at least. I’ve always been reminding myself of the leasts every time something reminds me of the nothingness inside me. In this vast expanse of meaningful nothingness, the quest for purpose is meaningless. Journey and destination are lost in my wandering sanity and I drift along, waiting to be saved from myself, from the reality that preys on my psyche. Is it someone? Or is there something that can tell me what this is all about? What am I for? Or why? Some questions are as useless as their answers. I should shut up.


Bharath Upendra considers himself a regular Joe who unapologetically talks about the usual and obvious. Writing to him is like an uninvited guest who still hasn’t left and to whom he’s gotten used to anyway.

You can find more of his writing at Bharath’s Banter where he speaks his mind and writes his heart.

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5 Comments Add yours

  1. Terveen Gill says:

    Bharath words aren’t for the sake of nothing. At times, speaking up about the ‘futility of it all’ is the bravest and wisest thing one can do. Questions don’t necessarily equate to answers, but the curiosity of asking and the tenacity of demanding are as innate as the feeling of letting it all slip away. Maybe open doors need to be banged from time to time…to keep us sane and in touch with reality.
    Congratulations Bharath!


  2. Sometimes, we just, get trapped, too deep, inside that hole inside our minds, it takes us, a very long time, to, finally, get back out of it, and, come back up, to see the sunshine again.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. jonicaggiano says:

    One of the oldest feelings in the world described rather frankly, which I like very much. It is easy to get wrapped up in questions about what our purpose is and what we are meant to be doing. I think if we are all honest, many of us have asked ourselves this at one time or another. My faith is always my answer. Congratulations!

    Liked by 2 people

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