Choosing us over me by Akaninyene Ekene

The abstract close up of a teary human eye which is red in color and has the backdrop of mountains and birds
Image Source: Canva Pro

You said my smile didn’t reach my eyes,

That I need to find myself, my truth.

Well, John I found my truth.

It was never missing,

I hid it in a calabash similar to that of your mums

John my truth, is not beautiful.

In my truth, when you smashed the plates over not getting a packing space,

I should have left.

In my truth when you said women get what they deserve,

I should have left.

In my truth, when I went on that trip which I told you about,

You broke down, you thought I left you,

because you knew no one would love you this way.

no one would get bitten this number of times and stay.

No one would stay small for you to stay big.

But I love you, more than I thought I ever could,

So I’ll live in your truth,

It doesn’t hurt as much,

In your truth all you do is love me unconditionally,

You tell me that every time you think I might leave,

I am not leaving, John, not today, not tomorrow

but maybe one day when I am strong.

So when next my smile doesn’t reach my eyes,

Tell me I have the most beautiful eyes,

You’ve never seen eyes as beautiful as mine,

And when the day to leave comes,

I just might stay.

Maybe one day I will live my truth, John.

Maybe one day I will walk away.

But for now let’s hold on tight.

Love beyond our flaws.

Love like only your truth exists.

I hide mine in a calabash.

-AKANINYENE EKENE

Akaninyene Ekene is a Nigerian creative writer. She writes short stories, poetry, and develops emotional monologues for characters. Please visit her website Kandiee Scribbles for more of her writing.

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6 Comments Add yours

  1. Terveen Gill says:

    Akaninyene’s poem is the raw face of dilemma. So many women experience this in turbulent relationships. It’s the hoping and suffering, the holding on and forgiving. Placing one’s own needs in a space that neither’s visited or even acknowledged. I wish there could be some simple solution to this, but feelings aren’t so straightforward. To each one their own lesson, learning, and path to healing.
    Congratulations Akaninyene!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. jonicaggiano says:

    Nice to see you here and read your very emotionally packed story with so many truths. The way you described the Abused Women’s Syndrome was so well done. I think people stay with abusers for many reasons. People are also quick to judge those that do, until something really devastating happens, like when the woman is nearly killed. The abuse cycle is a slow and methodical one and happens before you realize you are being abused. By that time the woman does acknowledge her abuse she may also truly believe it is her fault. I worked with a woman whose boyfriend almost killed her twice and she was strikingly beautiful, smart and witty. She ended up marrying this man and he moved her far away from her family first thing. I loved the way you ended this write with a hopeful ending for this woman. Congratulations on your publication. Thank you so much for bringing attention to this issue. Big hugs, Joni

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I’m glad you talked on the cycle of abuse. Something many people are unaware of. Thank you for the support. 💙

      Liked by 2 people

      1. jonicaggiano says:

        It is my pleasure indeed to talk with you. So glad to have met. Have a blessed day. ❤️🤗🌹

        Like

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