Lost Talent by Bogdan Dragos

A red hued image of a woman and her split images screaming and disturbed
Image Source: Canva Pro

sitting alone on the

orange living room sofa

at 02:21

in the night


trying to feel

something other

than hatred and rage

In older times,

with a younger self,

a book might have


Not anymore

The book she was holding


was one for children

A coloring book

and the pencils were scattered

like fish outside

the water

all about the orange sofa

She was holding only

the gray one

and in the light of a small


began coloring

inside the outlines of

weird characters that

looked like eggs with

hands and legs

and faces

roaming about in what

looked like some cave

Maybe the story

was about their escape

from there

She didn’t bother with


She bothered with struggling

to take her mind

away from

the fact that she could not

fall asleep

“How could I go to

bed?” she wrote with

the gray pencil

on the face of one of

the egg characters. “If I even

enter that room…

I will have to stare

at his face. Darkness helps


I know I’ll still see it.

That face.

Of the one who took

everything from me by virtue

of being born.

The world would think me


if they heard me now. Yet,

I believe what

I believe.

It is possible to lose

one’s talent by passing

it on to one’s child.

When that kid is born… Or

at least in my case,

when he was born… he took

away my talent for writing.

Now it’s in

him. All of it.

What’s a baby to do with

writing talent?

Why didn’t he take my

lower back pain? Why my


I can’t write shit now.

The moment he was born…

I lost it.

He took it away. That and

my ability to sleep.

This… I believe is my

ninth night without sleep. An’

I’m not even tired. Just

frustrated beyond limits.

I desire… to hurt and

even kill something. Preferably

something innocent. I don’t


If a small animal were here

with me right now…

I’d wrap it up in duct-tape

and extract its teeth one

by one and hammer them

into its eyes and snout.

It probably wouldn’t make me

feel any better, though.

I also feel like telling people

to leave when I want them

to stay.

Tomorrow, I’ll tell this to

my husband. I don’t want him

to leave me, but I’ll tell

him to. I don’t know…

I don’t need to know.

If I went to a doctor, well,

he’d probably tell me that

all those sleepless nights

messed up my thinking.

So I won’t go to any doctor.

I don’t care.

Something deep inside tells me

that I’ll eventually

need all those sleepless nights

behind me.

I’ll need them to explain

away my actions.”

There was no more room

on the page

and it didn’t occur to her

that a page could be turned

She let the coloring book

fall to the


and put the pencil in her mouth,

with the tip against

the ridges of her palate

Held it there

for a while


is what she

thought she wrote on

her palate with the gray

pencil, but

she only scratched it deep

and hard enough to

draw blood

A blood that she swallowed

again and again

If this doesn’t kill me,

she concluded

as she stretched facing up

on the orange sofa,

then it means I’m meant to kill

someone else. I’ll know

for sure.

She closed her eyes

and the blood in her

mouth kept blooming

and she kept swallowing,

but sleep would not


Without sleep

one can’t choke in one’s


A very simple conclusion

She opened her eyes

and swallowed more blood

and smiled

and stood,

holding the gray pencil

like a dagger in a reverse



she moved towards the



Bogdan Dragos supervises casinos for a gambling company, working twelve-hour shifts locked in a dark office full of TV monitors. There he mostly daydreams and writes poems and stories. He also manages a poetry blog Daydreaming as a profession.

We would love to read your work. Interested? Please READ our SUBMISSION GUIDELINES.



26 Comments Add yours

  1. Terveen Gill says:

    Bogdan’s poetry balances precariously upon the edge of reality and imagination. Sleep deprivation can bring out the monster in anyone – I know, I’ve been there. The beauty of this piece lies in the progression of the severity of thought and corresponding action, the knowing but the refusal to accept and rectify. Blame is one thing we all are willing to pass ahead, but how many will resort to cold-blooded murder? A troubled mind and its justification…
    Congratulations Bogdan!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. ˭̡̞(◞⁎˃ᆺ˂)◞*✰ Thank you, Terveen!

      And you’re very right, sleep deprivation can take people to the darkest of places… [●_●]

      Liked by 2 people

  2. ヾ(´〇`)ノ♪♪♪ AUDIO READING HERE:

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Jane Aguiar says:

      I understand the lack of sleep. It has happened to me too😌

      Liked by 2 people

      1. ヽ( ⌐■_■)ノ It can be quite the dangerous endeavor…

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Jane Aguiar says:

          I agree 💯😃

          Liked by 1 person

  3. hauntingly gripping Bogdan. The stories you must hear all in a days work lead to some heavy writing.. I can’t read many or I might not sleep! 😆

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Haha, meanwhile, I can’t sleep if I don’t read stories like these…

      Liked by 2 people

  4. Myriam says:

    Wow! She is crazy! It’s very well written.

    I don’t need much sleep, never had. 5h seem to be okay for me, most of the time. It don’t seem to affect me that much… touching wood.

    There was experiments done in the past in sleep deprivation, it did lead to psychotic behaviour.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Every time I hear/read about experiments in sleep deprivation torture is involved…
      ( ༎ຶ Ŏ ༎ຶ )

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Myriam says:

        Yes sadly… 😢 humans are very fit in such things

        Liked by 1 person

  5. jonicaggiano says:

    Wow, great post Dragos! I don’t do well without my sleep and in fact, I need eight hours and always have but just didn’t get that as a kid because I did not have the luxury then. I remember that at one time legally no sleep for three days was grounds for legal insanity. Who knows what the law is now as there doesn’t seem to be much law anymore to me. Anyway, scary stuff but I believe the lack of sleep is very dangerous. Big hugs my friend.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. ( T⌓T) Well, when you’re young, you pride yourself on your ability to pull allnighters. But, as you grow older and mature, you realize it was foolish to begin with, and sleep is really a blessing.

      (_ _ “) .. Zzzz

      Liked by 1 person

      1. jonicaggiano says:

        So true my friend. Love the emoji getting some Zzzzz,s. Big hugs Dragos, Joni

        Liked by 1 person

  6. That so reeked of the truth it was depressing

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Yeah, some people just do the craziest things when they don’t get enough sleep…
      (˃̣̣̥ w ˂̣̣̥)

      Liked by 1 person

  7. michnavs says:

    This is creepy ….but a really gripping read ..well done😊

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you very much for checking it out (and staying with it until the end)
      ( ^ω^ )

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Harshi says:

    Uff! Terrific! Talk about making the ordinary, extraordinary!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. (/◕ヮ◕)/ All’s possible through the magic of writing :)) 🖊️🖊️

      Thank you! ( ─‿─)

      Liked by 1 person

  9. byngnigel says:

    Bogdan causes sleep deprivation… but who needs sleep anyway?. Good writing as always mate. 🙌🙌

    Liked by 2 people

    1. (つ▀_▀)つ Big thanks for the read, my friend!

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s