
To slake my thirst
With dew from leaves that never see the light
Arboreal the tears that fall and quench
The darkest dreams
To fill my bowels
With loam whose cloying scent bespeaks of death
Arboreal the taste of living earth
My hunger begs
To see the gleam
‘Neath tenebrous shadows and rayless groves
Arboreal the blackest night in day
Below the boughs
To run rough hands
O’er scabrous bark and hardened boles and moss
Arboreal the pillars scrape the sky
In breezes weep
The silence holds
Forbidden knowledge
The silence holds
The universe
The silence holds
The truth
The path wends through
This living thing, this thing that sighs and cries
And dies and eats itself a cannibal
Whose roots betray sorrowful sentience
Whose trunks hold back the sky with anguished might
Whose limbs strain forth in melancholy pleas
A beckoning
A reckoning
The path into the gloom is just a path
With littered leaves and lichen on the rocks
And overhead the canopy to keep
The sky from falling down under the weight
Of lifetimes filled with torment and regret
It’s just a path
No need to fear
The forest welcomes me it knows my name
Envelops me in arms of somber green
It sings to me a song of silent peace
It pulls me down the path on wings of leaves
It whispers of a place where I may rest
And leads me there
There are others
Herein among the endless sea of trees
Herein among the caverns and the gulfs
Herein among the secrets and the cries
Which echo faintly in sepulchral voids
Herein where many come and none return
There are others
These are my kin
These shades that linger far beyond their time
And welcome me with soundless empty stares
And follow me along the darkling path
And shimmer as mirages in the air
And fade away as if they’d never been
Into the trees
The silence holds
Everything
Arboreal
My personal Aokigahara
My sea of trees my jade remembrance
There is a place just off the path ahead
A place of sodden leaves and broken twigs
And bitter cold that numbs away all pain
A resting place
I am not that boy who saw the sun
I have never seen the sun nor shall
I see only trees
-MICHAEL L. UTLEY
Mike is a deaf writer/photographer who lives in rural southwest Colorado, USA. His love of nature shines through his poetry and photography, both of which he uses to make sense of his world.
Please visit Silent Pariah to read and view more of his wonderful work.

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-MASTICADORESINDIA
Michael’s poetry is a beautiful sadness that finds solace in the company of the green giants of the earth. Trees are like no other living creature, surviving for hundreds of years, their personas are rich in the histories that have played out around them. Their sturdy characters built in the changing seasons, their reassuring shades never discriminating, always welcoming. It’s a blessing to find oneself in the heart of nature where trees are the companions that will always stand their ground – no matter what.
Congratulations Michael!
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Kindest thanks, Terveen, for publishing this piece. The forest can offer succor and solace when we are bereft of hope, but sometimes there’s a darkness there, too, and this piece reflects the hopelessness of those who enter and never leave, a bitter resting place for those whose spirits have faded, for those lost souls who have given up and who will never again see the sun. Here’s hoping the light breaks through the canopy above and illuminates the way for those of us who are lost in the shadows. Thanks again for your support, my friend. 🙂
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I follow his blog and have always enjoyed the power, intensity and beauty of Michael’s poetry. A fabulous choice and election for Masticadores India! Cheers Terveen!
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Thanks so much, Francisco. Your kindness is so appreciated, my friend! 🙂
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My pleasure my friend. All the best.
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Congratulations , Mike. Powerful imagery. Wonderful. Love it!💕
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Thanks a bunch, Grace. I appreciate your kind words, my friend. Hope you’re doing well. 🙂
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My pleasure .💕
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Mike ~ you’re so incredibly talented. I love this piece!
❤
David
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Many thanks, my friend. Honestly, this means so much to me. I appreciate you and all you do, good sir! 🙂
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*hug*
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I love the imagery and emotion in this 💚
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Thanks so much, Jordyn. I really appreciate your kind words of support. Thanks for being here, my friend. 🙂
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😊
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Congratulations, Mike! Beautiful writing. Take care my friend. 🙂
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Hey, Kirsten! Thank you for your wonderful appraisal. It truly means a lot to me to know you enjoyed this one. Thanks for reading and for your constant support. 🙂
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A pleasure! You’re most welcome my friend. 🙂
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Loving the evocative imagery in this powerful writing! ❤
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Thanks a bunch, Layla. I’m happy to know this one spoke to you, and I appreciate your kindness and support so much. 🙂
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Mike’s poetry blows me away. This piece is stunning. For me, it evoked a powerful sense of being at peace with sadness and a breathtaking but shaded light. It’s a feeling hard to express, but of course, Mike’s poetry does so beautifully. Thanks so much for sharing his poem.
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Thanks so much, Diana. You’ve described this one perfectly: a “sense of being at peace with sadness.” When something is a lifelong companion–even something dark and sorrowful–at some point making peace with it seems like the only way to move forward. Fighting the past, battling dark thoughts, sparring with fears and regrets…all it does is exhaust us in the end. Some things become such an intrinsic part of ourselves that acceptance is the only way to find peace. I live every day with depression and its accompanying array of dark thoughts and sadness. Writing about it offers me perspective and allows me to see the light above the canopy of darkness. Thank goodness for poetry, and for the kindness of people who read and understand. I’m deeply grateful, my friend. 🙂
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I’m glad you also see the light above the canopy, Mike. Perhaps that sense of acceptance will let more light in. What a relief to let go of the battle and be.
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Dearest Mike, you write words that immediately transport me into the trees and all affiliated with the forest. Such a thought-provoking piece, especially since we are killing them so quickly to build bigger and bigger homes. I, too, find peace amongst the trees. Every line is more beautiful than the one before it. This is a spectacular write, and I am sitting here in awe as I read and reread your poem. I feel the loneliness and sadness but the hope that is there too. May I just say that when you talk about the Aokigahara, it is as though I can feel the ending. The line above – “The silence holds,” is brilliant. I, too, found refuge in the trees as a child, and I believe the forest is a living entity with a thought process that does love us and seeks to provide love. It still does for me. We can be so arrogant about the brilliance of God’s creations. Thank you, Mike, for sharing such a beautiful piece of writing with us.
The ending is so perfect! It is so wonderful to see you again on MasticadoresIndia. You are such a gifted poet. Thank you so much, Terveen for bringing us this gift. Sending you both big hugs, Joni
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Thanks for your kind words, Joni. You’re always so supportive and encouraging and I appreciate it so much. This poem actually comes from a dark place, a place of surrendering to sadness and despair, and anyone who has experienced being overwhelmed emotionally by trauma and pain might understand the hopelessness portrayed here. There are so many people who succumb to their pain, who only want to seek a place to rest and find peace. It can be a struggle to see the light filtering through the dark forest canopy of our trauma. Hopefully that light will shine through and we can alter our paths and find our way into the clearing again. Thanks again for your kindness, my friend. 🙂
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You are so welcome Mike. I know that feeling well. Coming from a house where I worried I could die almost any night haven’t been abused so horrible. I have also seen that movie. Bless you Mike. It is hard enough to live with all our senses intact I can’t imagine not being able to hear. I also get a sense that there was abuse in your family too. Your writing is just amazing and I too, have been in a funky space lately. Know this Mike there are compassionate people out there they are just hard to find. You are an amazing writer my friend and I think your work is brilliant. Having said that, I too, always question my writing too. Big hugs and sending prayers up to God. I love and pray for you. 🦋🦋🦋
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Kindest thanks, Joni–your hugs and prayers are more than welcome. Thanks for being here, dear friend. 🙂
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You too Mike – I am a big hugger, strong too. We do bear hugs here in NC. Yes, I have a strong prayer list for lots of folks on line. I prayer for them because like you I truly care about them. Sending you blessings my friend. 🦋🌹🦋
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This piece tugged at my soul. It is so powerful. Yet still it offered peace… acceptance. I enjoyed this Mike.
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Thanks so much for your kind and thoughtful comment. This was a difficult piece to write and comes from a dark place. Living with lifelong depression is a struggle, and sometimes the sheer exhaustion can usher in thoughts of finding ways to stop the pain any way we can. The tragedy of the Aokigahara forest is that so many people have found their final resting places there. May we all be able to see the light above the canopy and find our way through the darkness. Thanks again. Much appreciated. 🙂
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