Urge by Don Matthews

Was out in bush the other day Driving with me mate When great big urge came over him Which just would not abate He took off into the sand dunes To dig himself a hole We had no toilet paper (Forgot to bring a roll) I said whatever did you use To clean yourself with…

Bookmark Page 64 by Don Matthews

True story I have a library book Borrowed for to read It does look rather interesting An interest which need To take me ‘way from poetry And give my mind a rest This book I think will do the trick A nice and welcome guest I’ve just got to page 64 Plot and people weave…

White Blank by Don Matthews

It stares out from the screen at me I stare right back at it Yes, it says, I am quite blank And, yes, I feel a git. I’ve got no spelling errors Syntax perfect, yes I’m just a piece of white blank verse Examine me, address! But I’ve got better things to do Than look…

Prosaic Hell by Don Matthews

I have so many poems They wait, pile up, say “send” They keep on procreating Drives me round the bend This bloody rhyme’s addictive I gotta have my words Injected for my daily fix It’s damnably absurd You say to me go rehab They will de-rhyme your brain Jack and Jill won’t climb the hill…

Dr. Don at Your Service by Don Matthews

(Researchers at Donyagoz Adana Hospital, Turkey have found excess use of Viagra can produce a multitude of unwanted side effects. Feb 2020) Dr. Don’s on your screen here to warn you If you’re using Viagra to excess OK, you will stand you to attention But other things might end in mess This simple little thing…

Polyadic by Don Matthews

Polyadic What’s it mean? Quite benign? Quite obscene? Yes it’s in You’re favourite dic Or if you choose Take any pick It simply means Three or more Useless word I ever saw What a useless Waste of time Polyadic Waste of rhyme Polyadic Three or more Four, five, six What a bore How can I…

Was the Night Before Christmas by Don Matthews

Was the night before Christmas When I got his text That Santa would visit me ‘Round planet (convexed) No longer he’s guided By stars (lots of guess) Tech reps have caught up with him Now has GPS (meter changes) I’m waiting here for Santa It’s three o’clock in morn (I’m yawning now but never mind)…

Listen Up There Rhyming Board by Don Matthews

Listen up there Rhyming Board(Yes you lot in the sky)I have a group of rhymersWho cheer me as I try Please don’t disappoint themDon’t come down on me hardI want to write new poetryI’m not another Bard Don’t worry ’bout my grammaBlindfold your eyes to ain’tI might spell great as ‘trifficI’m no-ones poet saint I’m…

Editor I Need Some Help Here by Don Matthews

I’m wanting some help with my poetryI need to unburden my brainIt’s giving me mental thrombosisImagine the state of my pain  Have you had a mind-clot of neuronsWho want to stop whirring around?I rely on their whirring-aroundnessTo tell me they’re perfectly sound  I think I’m expecting too much ofMy neurons I want to rotateI should…

I Am Poet Laureate by Don Matthews

I am a Poet LaureateIn nonsense poetryTook years and years of study, sweatTo reach this level (me) Not many brains are cut outTo handle this genreBut when I reached my nonsense-topResounding shouts, ‘good on ya’ I finally got my LaureatshipAt ceremony they donnedA cap and gown upon myselfAnd said arise Sir Don We bow down…

Plink, Plink, Plink by Don Matthews

I sit upon my porcelain Throne and ponder, think I know what you are thinking What rhymes with think, yep, sink I think I must change washer In leaking tap in sink That’s next to me (it’s dripping) Plink, plink, plink You think I’m on my toilet Sitting, waiting, think It’s really all just make…

Publisher Wanted by Don Matthews

I’m looking for a publisherA rhymy-loving typeWho wants to increase readership(I also offer skype) There are no skyping rhymers(Who offer two for one)I’ll skype for you both day or nightBuy me (before I’m done) Although my rhyme’s oft silly-likeThere’s serious undertonesA flippant/serious comboWaiting to get known See the one in TO BE? That’s me… -DON…

Meeting Turns to Crap by Don Matthews

(true story in my hometown Adelaide) The staffers were all gathered Round each other, seating When suddenly they heard above A sound, a sudden creaking Very soon they all began To look up, and start mumbling When the creaking sound above them Turned to quite loud rumbling Suddenly the ceiling Above them gave away And…

Crowder by Don Matthews

I tend to be a crowder Crowding people’s ears My mind’s too overactive Oh dear oh dear oh dear Mind, don’t be a crowder Don’t wear your welcome out Slow down your thoughts, restrict, withhold Still need my friends about OK, create, but know your place Can’t always centre stage There’s other players in this…

Press Like – Baa by Don Matthews

Preamble I think some people have a sheep mentality and will press ‘like’ for anything regardless of it being good or bad.  To show support for the writer. Why do you always press like?….. Becos……. Because why?…….. Becos  he writes good…..Doesn’t he?……. Press Like….Baa baaa…..press like…..press like… Why do we press like Leader? … Becos………

WordPress and I – A Marriage Made in Heaven by Don Matthews

I love our union, WordPress (Must not forget cap P) I find it so exciting wordpress and poet me Shit…forgot the P…and W Learning code? I’m past it (Remember Don cap P) I would be more than hopeless Word Press come marry me Shit…there’s no space Take me with your hidden code Make all my…