Wonky by Don Matthews

My eyes are seeing double Double on the screen Everything I seem to post Has a double mean Took myself to optom who Deals with wonky eyes To me, “please cover left, then right” I asked him wonky? Why? You’re old he said, get muscle droop Won’t do what brain tells to We fix you…

Urge by Don Matthews

Was out in bush the other day Driving with me mate When great big urge came over him Which just would not abate He took off into the sand dunes To dig himself a hole We had no toilet paper (Forgot to bring a roll) I said whatever did you use To clean yourself with…

The Lady of the GPS by Don Matthews

(TRUE STORY) A truckie based in Melbourne (A huge B-double grade) Set GPS then headed off Bound for Adelaide The Lady of the GPS (Obey at any cost) Take this street, that street, trust me do You’re bound to not get lost But Lady? streets are narrowing Don’t worry trust me do You’ve told me…

Was the Night Before Christmas by Don Matthews

Was the night before Christmas When I got his text That Santa would visit me ‘Round planet (convexed) No longer he’s guided By stars (lots of guess) Tech reps have caught up with him Now has GPS (meter changes) I’m waiting here for Santa It’s three o’clock in morn (I’m yawning now but never mind)…

Plink, Plink, Plink by Don Matthews

I sit upon my porcelain Throne and ponder, think I know what you are thinking What rhymes with think, yep, sink I think I must change washer In leaking tap in sink That’s next to me (it’s dripping) Plink, plink, plink You think I’m on my toilet Sitting, waiting, think It’s really all just make…

Press Like – Baa by Don Matthews

Preamble I think some people have a sheep mentality and will press ‘like’ for anything regardless of it being good or bad.  To show support for the writer. Why do you always press like?….. Becos……. Because why?…….. Becos  he writes good…..Doesn’t he?……. Press Like….Baa baaa…..press like…..press like… Why do we press like Leader? … Becos………